the flowers will grow tomorrow.

summer's gone, now winter's on its way
  i will miss the days we had
the days we had
  i will miss the days we had
the days we had
oh, i'll miss the days we had

winter song; the head and the heart

while we are not quite at winter, my summer days are nearing an end. i am heading back to indiana this weekend. i will spend two weeks re-training for my resident assistant job in beckett east at iwu. the next week my "little" freshies will move in. i don't even know their names but am excited to learn their stories. after that we start school. [i felt kind of gross writing that.]

i have been looking forward to going back to school for about a month now. but before that month, i wasn't ready. i didn't want to go back. at. all. there were little hurts that made me want to scream, "i'm not coming back!" really loudly from alaska [loud enough for indiana to hear]. so needless to say, i would have been perfectly happy to have never gone back. if someone had said "bethany, i will give you a donut not to go back." i would have said, "heck yes give me that donut." and not not gone back. heck, i would have taken a half of a donut.

but this summer has been a growing period. growing isn't really the funnest thing you could do but probably it is worth it. i spent multiple mondays at my mentor julie's home. we read the Bible, laughed, cried, drank sweet tea and ya know...i loved it. i spent multiple monday nights at my home with a group of young ladies talking about life and learning how to say yes to God...and ya know i loved it. so pretty much mondays rocked my world. these were the sweetest moments of summer and i am going to miss them.

when you learn positive things you learn to let go of negative things. so that is why i am excited to go back to school. because the positive things give me strength. and that strength [which is really just my love for Jesus] gives me a new perspective.

of course i [probably] won't always have this great perspective. i will likely forget and listen to satan's little whispers. but it is progress not perfection. julie would always say "we are blossoming today. the flowers will grow tomorrow." so that is my new perspective. blossoms are a sign of growth and the beauty that is and is to come. but they don't just appear. it takes some time and love.

so, if someone offered me a donut to not go back to indiana...i would grab the donut and run. indiana, i'll see you soon.

 

- B

weakness. promises. power.

"the enemy of your heart doesn't have to actually defeat you, he just has to convince you he already has." 

___

the enemy of your heart.  

when i first read this quote i was kind of disheartened. 

it reveals my weakness.

the enemy has so much pull on my heart that he doesn't actually have to win me over. he just has to whisper in my ear. 

and in me abiding in those whispers i am giving him--without a fight--first place over my heart and mind. 

i have felt this happening in my heart and mind quite often. and i was just sitting in those thoughts. sitting. and the sitting made me anxious. over and over satan would bring past mistakes and regrets to my mind and made me believe i am unworthy. 

running for me is a good release. i can think about things or not think about things. i can just run. i was running one night after work this week and saw a rainbow. so i stopped, took a picture, and kept running. i wanted to post the picture on instagram but i didn't know what to say about it. "look a rainbow!" isn't very intriguing. so while i was thinking of something clever to say, i was thinking about this rainbow. the story of noah came into my mind [ not by accident i am sure ]. 

noah: a man who lived for 950 years [ genesis 9:29 ].

can you even begin to imagine what changes you would see in people and your community in 950 years? 

the Word of The Lord says noah was a righteous man, blameless in his generation. and that he walked with God. God was upset at the wickedness of the people on the earth and he planned to wipe them out. all but noah and his family. 

genesis 6:18 says, "But I will establish my covenant with you..." 

that's pretty impressive. 

 

so God tells noah to build an ark. he gives him specifics instructions like how high and wide to make it. to bring two of every animal. to bring all different kinds of good. and his family. 

genesis 6:22 says, "noah did this; he did all that God commanded him."

not some. but all that God commanded him. could someone say that about me? that i did all that God commanded of me? [ just something to think about. ] 

but he went. he and his family and all the animals. 

and then...it rained. for forty days.

[ now, i live in southeast alaska. let me tell you: it rains ALL the time. some people like and some people don't. i am sure that has had to have been a time where it rained for forty days straight in southeast alaska. that wouldn't bother me. what would bother me? being on a boat for forty days. forty. days. i ride a boat to work, due to the fact that i work on an island, four days a week and twice a day. and that nearly does me in. so forty days? no thanks. ] 

if i was noah [ praise the Lord i'm not ] around day lets say day two i would probably start complaining [ because that's what i do ]. did noah complain? i don't know. did he ask God why? maybe, but he already knew why. because God was sad at the wickedness.

chapter 8 of genesis starts by saying "God remembered noah and all the beasts and all the livestock that were with him in the ark." 1.) i think it is important to recognize that God remembered noah 2.) i think it is important to recognize that God remembered the creatures he created [ another something interesting to think about ].

he remembered them. noah built an alter to the Lord. and God made a promise:

"'i establish my covenant with you, that never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of the flood, and never again shall there be a flood to destroy the whole earth.' and God said, 'this is the sign of the covenant that i make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: i have set my bow in the clouds, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. when i bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, i will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh....when the bow is in the clouds, i will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature..."

i bet noah had whispers. the enemy of his heart whispered. when he was building the ark, when he was loading the ark, and when he was in the ark. i am sure the enemy whispered. maybe the whispers were from people and maybe they were in his heart but i am sure they were there. but noah was faithful, because the Lord was establishing an everlasting covenant with him.  

we go through situations daily when those whispers are in our heads and hearts. maybe they are from people and maybe they are just inside us. maybe we fall into the trap of resting in those whispers but we are not defined by the whispers we hear. we are defined by the One who cares enough to build covenants and set beautiful reminders. even though my mind is weak, i am made strong by the perfect power of the One who saves [ 2 corinthians 12:9 ]. 

 

now, when i read this quote i can rejoice knowing that we are strong and have the power to overcome whispers. 

rejoice in that fact today!

until next time,

-B 

constant.

being consistent is hard. [who knew?]
probably because i am human [but also that's probably not a good excuse].

do you know when the last time i blogged was? [ha me either!]
blogging is really hard. because i need to have something to say. and then gather the motivation to actually write it. i really do love writing, and blogging, and reading. but it's hard.

consistency. 

my friend kimberly recently came and visited me [when i say me, i really mean alaska]. i like kimberly a lot, we are pals. the last time i saw kim before she left i said, "keep in touch". she then said, "out of sight, out of mind".

i may or may not have told her that when people are not directly in my life [as in i don't see you on a weekly basis] it is really, REALLY hard for me to keep up with you. i may have even used the saying "out of sight, out of mind" [kim has a good memory]. it's not that i don't like you because really i do. my brain just has a hard time keeping track. and probably i will pull the "i am busy" card. so, ya. relationships are hard.

consistency.

if being consistent with people is hard, you can image being consistent in my relationship with God is hard too. because of time. i don't like to give my time up and i like making myself busy. so sometimes i make myself too busy. and what i recognized myself goes right along with a quote i heard:

"if the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy."

this is such a truth. i am learning to protect my sacred time with Jesus.

praise the Lord that God is faithful and his love is constant, even if i'm not.

***if you have any suggestions how to do any of these things more consistently, i would love love love to hear them! 


here's to more consistent blogging, relationships, and time with Jesus.

- b

reunions.

the rest of the days: (it has been too long and i forgot when these were taken. but enjoy.) 

the family that came to the reunion. (yes there are even more.)

the cousins following in our parent's footsteps and singing "GOD IS ABLE"

my last day in juneau:

uncle cory explaining how to put the paper lanterns together.

waiting for it to take off like and air balloon.

the first lantern flying away! 

my lantern group!

valerie and leah with their lantern.

we had different shape of lanterns, including hearts!

one of the heart shaped lanterns!

the lantern flying into the mountains.

addie waiting for her lantern to fill up and fly away.

the reunion was lovely.

saying goodbye was...hard.

however, i know i will see them again!

fami-ley

day 6; thursay august 8; cummins family reunion 2013

this was a fantastic day.
why?
it was my last day working for the summer.
and then i got to spend every second of the day with my lovely cousins!

thursday night, after work, we went to waffle co. and played games.

...yea we took up three tables. (which is pretty much the length of the waffle co.)

day 7; monday august 9; cummins family reunion 2013

i am free from work. so what do i do? hike to the glacier. i got to pretend i was an official hike leader (doesn't that sound neat) and show my favorite people my favorite place to hike. enjoy these pictures:

family group pictures:

yep.

we were struggling.

 

she was complaining of being tired. so i took this picture....and then when i showed it to her she said, "don't post that anywhere." (i couldn't NOT post it.) she tried convincing me to take another one where she promised she would smile. didn't happen. oh well. =) 

---

after hiking we went to the churh and ate pizza.

we were "dying" of hunger.

then we had the opportunity to listen to our parents practice for a concert they were having on saturday.

they were in a group called ARISE when we were all little.

don't look they great.